I now live with high hopes and a positive outlook of the future. I’m trying my very best to keep my head stay in one direction, like a horse trying to drive it’s focus on one point. I still try to detach myself from the material world with reasons too weird and ridiculous-sounding to some, for as long as I know this could help me execute my plans of the future. NO DISTRACTIONS. NO SOCIALIZING (perhaps minimal) for the meantime.
Being focused and motivated are just some of the things I really need to work on. I’m getting my knowledge and inspirations through reading, surrounding myself with books, books, and more books!
A few realizations.
We may be ignoring little things in our lives. Living in simplicity is somehow, a way to learn and appreciate simple things and whatever you have that is right in front of you.
Each of us have our own purpose and tasks to carry and roles to portray. I’ve come to realize many things as I try to live in simplicity. I still attempt to adapt the yogi lifestyle, despite the interruptions, criticisms, disbelief and shock from the people surrounding me. I try to act these little roles and making it look like I do have a purpose.
But you know what? there are just so many wonderful things to think and look forward to. My mind moved methodically to the awareness of possibility.
I found dead ends. I found and overcame obstacles. I found surprising corners of memory and of imagination and of maturity.
As a new chapter of my life unfolds, I try to concentrate on realities, on consequences, on what the world offers me as of the moment.
Past is definitely past. No sense dwelling on it. It’s been done and over with. Move and trudge, whatever it takes, difficult as it may, It’s a battle I have to win.
Change is not overnight. As they say, Rome was not built in a day. And how many times have I mentioned change? I think more than a hundred times already–with the lack of execution. I’m an expert planner, but sucks big time when it comes to making things happen.
I desperately cling to my inner self. Preserve the garden I have tended so carefully. I long to stay there, but circumstances always forced me to go back and face the bitter reality.
I still wish for courage, for motivation, for the consistent focus and for the ability and wit to turn big dreams into reality. All these things I yearn for with clasped hands, eyes shut tight along with whispered prayers.